Trying to heal the pack

Cross-posted in Shadow of the Hooded Crow blog

So, I've not been blogging. I've not been writing much, although four days before deadline I decided to whip something together for Air n-Aithesc coming out next week. I've not done a lot of the things I hoped to do this summer, including writing and getting my business put back together. Mostly I have hung out with my dogs, either hiding from the heat inside or wandering around or running outside.Sure, I could write while I hide from the burning daystar, but what I'm also not doing is sleeping so concentration isn't there. It's been a tough year so far.

Sachairi

Last February we lost our 15 year-old boy Sachairi. We had a good two year stretch, after losing our hounds Cù and Òrlaith close together.  Sach had liver failure, we tried to stem it with meds but we were told there wasn't anything else we could do. As he lost interest in life, we let him go. Free of his body, he visits often but can also visit his beloved first human who now lives on an island where dogs cannot be brought in.  No body, no laws.  But it was a rough loss, even if we had adopted him as a senior knowing he would never be with us very long. He made himself very central to our lives, making sure we all were doing what was supposed to be done. He was the dog that when you were upset he'd come over and pat your shoulder and then go get a toy to shove at you to make you feel better. When I needed that this time, well.....

Just a few weeks later - with all of us, pup, human and, yes, the cat still devastated- we took our remaining dogs, Gleann and Gráinne for their yearly shots and checkups. The vet suggested a "wellness" blood work for Gleann as he was about to turn 12. And one for Gráinne as she had displayed symptoms months earlier that indicated a possible autoimmune issue.  And...

Me with Gleann and Gráinne heading to vet

Gleann has hypercalcemia, high blood calcium of unknown origin, possibly cancer somewhere, but even if not can cause kidney failure.  Gráinne has leukemia. Which seemed scarier at first, but really is less of an issue right now, as it is chronic lymphocytic leukemia and currently asymptomatic.   The regular vet put her right on Prednisone, which the oncologist (much to the regular vet's chagrin) had us wean her right off....for some reason our regular vet is insisting she was symptomatic when we brought her in although that had been months before...if she has no symptoms she should not be under treatment for levels she has. We'll be monitoring her lymphocyte levels monthly and watching her for symptoms.

With Gleann, the oncologist (we should have been referred to an intern, although it probably is cancer) also noted he has a neurological disorder (then the regular vet later taking blood and lymph node samples for test the oncologist ordered, as the regular vet was cheaper and closer for them, also insisted he did not have said eye symptom of it,while then admitting that his head muscles are atrophied from the same disorder.  At this, point we have no idea what is causing either of these conditions or how they may relate.

So, those tests were inconclusive, at least according to the regular vet. We need to do ultrasounds and x-rays the regular vet can't do at the referral vet and to get a consultation from someone there for both sets of tests.  We're broke. Especially after the vet bills for Sach and the horse ones added up last year (and we need to get a vet here for the horses soon too).  So we have been fundraising at the page hopefully linked at this widget. I am hoping readers might be willing to help as they can (lots of small donations do add up) and will share this around. If my work has had meaning to you, please consider that this is work and I do not get regular pay for it, so now might be a good time to compensate (an important factor in Gaelic culture, after all) a bit.  We need to get answers, we need to treat the cause of theses issues as we can. Chances are, with the possible causes, it is treatable...if we can figure it out in time, but time may be running out fast.

I am hoping that we can get these answers and get Gleann treated. I am hoping to be able to refocus on my writing and get back to taking fitness clients as well as get out to teach some workshops again.  (I will likely give a discount to anyone who donates should they wish to do a future workshop or hire me as a trainer...and I am looking at long-distance options).  Right now, I'm spending as much time as I can with my pups.  Looking forward to our next ritual, as Gleann is our star ritual dog, having participated since he was a couple of months old and absolutely loving it.

Me with Gráinne, Gleann and Sach just before going out to the hill las Samhuinn

The Golden Princess

I feel rather horrid about this. I wrote two posts about Cù when he lost use of his legs and we were so hopeful to get him walking again, perhaps with aid, and then when he took a turn for the worse and we had to let him go.  But I have written nothing here about Òrlaith's battle this winter. I posted a bit about it here, primarily as both his death and her battle at the time influenced my writing.

Òrlaith (Prevo)
Born:June 16, 2002-adopted: November 25, 2009-died: February 22, 2014

Òrlaith was our fourth Greyhound, the fifth we have lost. We adopted her when we realized that we were losing Scolaighe to her meningitis and we didn't want Glean, our AussieX to be alone.  As she was a tiny "feminine" fawn girl, we were somewhat surprised she was "thrown" at us, we get losers, after all and tiny

Peeking out from her pillow fort

"feminine" fawn girls are apparently among the most sought after Greyhounds.  However, she did have her issues and she did need us. Namely, she had anxiety issues, but they were rather unique. Hardly a spook, she was outgoing and friendly to humans and dogs, rather bossy and body slamming with the latter (and if they didn't obey, I already told the story of her reprimanding Cù then him being put in solitary for supposedly hurting her by kennel workers).  However, noises bothered her a lot if she wasn't active at the moment. Sleeping was a real problem; wind, rain, sounds of the house settling, never mind when actual thunder.

Her previous home had children as well, she hid in her crate and they felt horrible, feeling she was unhappy.  Here she took to building a "fort" out of the couch cushions and hiding there to sleep. We figured she was pretty happy, actually, but also got her a ThunderShirt (tm) which helped some but she still like to hide.We let her as long as she needed it.

Over time she started spending less time under the cushions and started snuggling us a bit.  When we adopted another AussieX, Sachairi, she did go back into hiding for a bit when she was sleeping, although she did seem to like him. She then started to spend more time out again, except when there were really high winds and thunderstorms.

She especially liked Sach when he was where she wanted to be

As the only female the boys all learned to respect her and the seemed to all adore her. She was very bonded with Cù, because their activity levels were a bit different from the Aussies, there was a strong sense of pairing. We'd often walk the hounds on their own and take the fluffy dogs out for a romp in rougher terrain, especially as the hounds both started showing signs of lameness as they aged (Sach is actually older, but yet shows little signs of age other than being deaf). So when Cù became lame, Òrlaith was very reluctant to go for walks on her own. As I didn't want to take all the other dogs out and leave him, I didn't at the time try to take her out with the boys.  That would come later, after he was gone and she seemed to enjoy those walks quite a lot.

She missed him terribly, as did the boys  They moped a lot, even all snuggling together often.  As snuggly as she had been, she became a total velcro hound to us too.

Then over Thanksgiving, when the vets where off and Aaron was working, I noticed that her gums were bleeding badly when I brushed her teeth. The next morning there was a lump, we figured a tooth infection that got into her jaw and got her to an emergency vet who determined the same and sent her home with a course of anitbiotics.

The antibiotics did nothing, the lump grew. Taking her to a regular vet, we learned she had osteosarcoma, a bone tumor. He gave her about three more weeks, which would have been around the holidays, and gave us little option. We took her to another vet for a second opinion. On the plus side we found them a wonderful clinic and will be continuing to use them....wishing greatly that we knew about them when we still had Cù (this is Bethel Animal Hospital they are a bit further from us even than our old vet, but greatly worth the trip!).  They didn't give a death date, but confirmed it was cancer. They laid out the options, which were to have the jaw amputated and replaced with a prosthetic and do chemo.  Manage her care until it grew too large.

Given her age, given how horribly invasive and painful the idea of jaw amputation seemed...especially while suffering the effects of chemo....and especially at her age when there was a chance that something else would get her before she even finished the chemo so that she'd probably never have a good quality of life, we opted to care for her while we could without imposing all that on her.

We did try, with the support and help of the new vet, several herbal treatments.  We were sold a lot of hope by many when we bought these things, miracle stories....which was not helpful to us. We had so much hope for Cù and were still feeling crushed by him not making it, not walking again, that more false hope was painful. We knew the cancer would spread, the tumor would grow. All we could hope for was that we could slow it.  And it seemed to work. I spent almost all my time with her, Aaron as much as he could. We spoiled her with "treats" which disguised her herbs.  And she ate soft food....although she could still wolf down the boys' (who do not eat like Greyhounds) kibble when we weren't looking).

Around the end of December, it did seem maybe it was getting too big and time was close, but it did seem to slow at that point.  She got to the new year, still happily eating, still going for walks when it was warm enough (which, sadly, it wasn't very often).  She made it into February and then...as the month was winding down, we realized that the tumor was getting too big. Her mouth was bleeding again. She could still eat, but it was more difficult.  She still had happy moments but it no longer was all the time and we knew that shortly those happy moments would be gone.

I often feel and See the "shadow hounds" around here. But Cù was very close this whole time. He missed being in the same world as his closest packmate, she missed him.  They are together again, this I know. They are with Irony, Bran and Scolaighe too, but importantly they are together.  Always. I miss sharing this world with all my lovely hounds, their silken ears, their snuggles...but I know on some nights, I can still run with them under the moon. 

About a dog

Cù Mór (Onaim Dogzilla)
Born:August 24, 2002-adopted: January 30, 2010-died:July, 27, 2013

When I last posted it was about how our activities here were all backburnered while we took care of our sick dog, Cù. Sadly, while at first things looked good that he might walk, aided, again, he took a turn for the worse and his body couldn't fight any longer. On the 27th we had to say good-bye to this wonderful soul.

Cù was our fourth Greyhound we lost, the fifth one we adopted. Irony, Bran and Scolaighe were there to greet him and he is now buried with them.  Òrlaith is now mourning her boy, as are the Aussie crosses Gleann and Sachairi.

Those who came before: Irony, Bran and Scolaighe

Snuggling Gleann

 Cù was really classically a Greyhound, with that ability they have to be simultaneously elegant and goofy.  He loved to snuggle, whether it was people or other dogs. He could also be rambunctious and this
sometimes confused people.

Snuggling Sach

One story that sticks out is when we went to Chicago the year we adopted him, the pack, then him, Òrlaith and Gleann were so close we didn't want them in separate kennels as the kennels the place we were boarding in were large anyway.  When they were going in to feed the day before we got back, they here a fight and found Òrlaith bleeding from the ear.   Figuring that Cù had attacked her, as he was big and male and she was the one bleeding, they exiled him to another pen.  We got there and, well, their story of him attacking her seemed off to us. When we got into the car, it was clear....that was not what happened. He cringed as far from her as he could get in the back of the car.  When she moved he cringed further.  Meanwhile, Gleann and Òrlaith snuggled.

They made up, of course

When we got him home we took a closer look at him and he had two bites, not real deep but evident if you bothered to look.   Òrlaith had no bite marks at all, just the scrapped ear. What obviously happened was he got excited, as meal times got him, and jumped on her, as he sometimes does to others but not her, usually.  She corrected him, got her ear scraped by the unfortunately rough wall and the kennel staff, not knowing dogs very well, didn't even check to see if he was hurt, just punished him further by separating him. Which also delayed their making up and left him terrified of her for days. (no, we're not likely to board there ever again)

While Cù might have been ruled by Òrlaith, he was a kindly patriarch to the fluffy boys. The closeness of them all was demonstrated often. Sadly, it's not demonstrated by their intense mourning.

He apparently also remembered his first family. I became friendly with the woman who cares for one of his littermate sisters, Annie.  We had taken Cù to be euthanized on Saturday morning, getting there just before noon.  The vet came out and gave his sleep shot, then went back in to get the euthanasia drug and let the shot work while we petted and cuddled him.  The noon bell rang. A few minutes later the vet came out and sent him to the other side, we never saw the exact time. At 12:06 Annie who had been sleeping woke up, startled.  She spent the day being very clingy, which was unlike her.  To us and to her person it's obvious he came by.

Just as it's often clear he's here still at times. I'm sure he will be, with our other hounds, when we celebrate Lùnasdal later this month.

I regret deeply that we were not able to help Cù as I had hoped. I do not regret the time we spent with him in his last weeks. Sometimes it was very hard, but that only makes the loss all the deeper.  Our animals are our life, really, and our sacred trust.

He was a magnificent, beautiful hound, showing a true legacy of the ancient Celtic Hound he was descended from. I know there is much more that should be said, but even after over a week, I seem unable to manage as well as I'd like. I'll update his page soon, but I still am not able to. Still dealing with this in steps.

Cù demonstrating his ancestral hunting skills on a stuffy

Already Dog Days

I could be talking about the weather, because what we've had I do remember as typically hitting us here only in the end of July and beginning of August. But that's not all of it. But it does play a part.

Cù in more limber days, showing himself to be a True Celtic hound

We started with a humid but rainless end of April and beginning of May. We were a bit worried about having a fire for Bealtuinne, especially after our neighbor set our woods on fire (he owns five acres on this side, right in the middle of ours, where his damn wood furnace sits way too much in the trees).  But a few days before we were set to celebrate, we got enough rain to ease the fire danger.  We had a  lovely celebration. And a few nice days.

And then it kept raining, and kept warming up and stayed humid. Ever since. Dog Days.

We had lots of plans for chickens, gardens, fences and horses. Lots of horse stuff.

He can't even lie like this anymore.

And then.....Cù our male Greyhound, started getting wobbly in the back. He already had some lameness int his front for leg.   And in the beginning of June he completely loss he use of his hind legs. Vet trip, ex-rays, meds.....sitting with him so he wouldn't' try to get p and hurt himself.  Carrying him out for business. Mostly lying on his side, sometimes back. He had one good day after this started when he got himself up to lie on his belly. Which he can't do like this anymore. He can still get himself on his back, which he enjoys, but often we need to help.  His left foreleg has gotten far worse, leaving him with one usable leg. Which really isn't usable alone. 

He sometimes would be alert!

He was never a real active dog since we got him. Greyhounds are not on the go all the time, except when puppies. A good walk or run and then the couch or bed for most of the day is the lifestyle most hounds over 2 years old prefer. But after a month of this, I think even Cù, who might actually be the laziest hound we've had (we had three before the two we have now) is getting a bit bored, however.

The issue appears to be spinal disc compression and arthritis.  He's on Prednisone and pain meds and it seemed to help, but, of course, the Pred also ate his muscle tissue making him weaker.  He can't stand at all.

But he's happily eating, still loves snuggles (if it's not too hot...which has been an issue) and is eliminating fine, even if he can't get up on his own to do it....he usually manages to let us know and get him out in time and appears upset with himself when he has an accident, which is a good sign for his mental state.  So we keep fighting for him.

We plan to get a harness which is made to actually carry him. I'm not really able to lift him, due to back problems and after a month, I don't think Aaron's back is holding out too well. This would allow us to carry him in a such a way to be easier on us and on him. It would also allow us to see if we can get him walking again. He needs more support than mot "walking harnesses" would give. We might need another harness for his hind end, as well, but that certainly wouldn't be enough.

His left foreleg may not be usable again. While the Pred sand inactivity atrophied his muscle all over, the left front is seriously atrophied.  He can kick his hind legs and his right foreleg when dreaming and use his right foreleg to try to move himself....and to reach out to touch us, but the left foreleg only twitches. So we think that's really a separate issue, just worsened by the other.

So we also want to see about getting him downstate to be seen by another vet, one with a lot of Greyhound experience.

Between the harness, the medical bills we have, the ones we're looking at and the fact neither of us is now working full time and need to spend more time here with him even if we could get more work (which is a big if, anyway), we have decided to ask for help through crowdfunding. I have also decided that as writing is work, especially the more heavily researched bits which tend to be here, here and, at least one so far, here.

So, yeah, this is one part "why I'm not posting much" and one part "if you can spare a bit to help our poor dog, please do" post.  We appreciate any help, including prayers and passing word along.  We know he could have good life. He just needs a little help getting up again.

The whole pack together

Winter is getting here...mostly....

Yes, Samhuinn was celebrated, just a few days after my last post. In a nice heavy wet snowfall. It made for a wet, cold ritual, but at least that means didn't have to obsess over whether the fire really was out after, there was enough snow to not matter. We came in, put out our ancestor plate and had a nice feast. The hounds didn't attend, just didn't seem like they'd appreciate it, but they were happy to get a bit of shortbread when we came back. The fuzzy dogs joined us, unfazed by the snow, and seem to have assigned themselves particular ritual parts during the Outsiders' offering.....Gleann went out, like always, with me, but Sachairi stayed to guard Aaron. This is the first we noticed this, it may be because the hounds weren't there.

That snow is now gone again, although at the moment some is trying to come back. We had more warm weather, which has led to continued horse training. In one session Saorsa had her first training in how to carry my enemies' heads. She seemed to be fine about this at first, but then did get a bit upset over the whole thing. Our trainer, btw, thought my interpretation of what this exercise was very odd. In general, this is Saorsa, though, something new doesn't bother her...until she gets bored with it. Keeping this mare occupied is going to always be a challenge.

Misty on the other hand is lazy and stubborn. Riding her is rather a chore at this point for me, but that will just take time and doing it more. Aaron' has begun actual riding lessons and as the trainer/instructor is there on the ground to get Misty to move she moves a bit more during their lessons.

This past weekend, although nice for it, we didn't do training, as we were busy going to pick up a cat from a friend who needed to find him a home. So now we're sort of complete on farm companion animals. So far, Merlin, the cat (the name he came with and will keep as changing anything else is going to be too much for him), is not warming up to us. But we have all winter before we'd want to let him roam outside much anyway. He is proving to be a hunter, however. And he is chicken safe, which is good as he's big enough to be a problem if he wasn't.

I have fixed up the website and it is now residing at the new URL http://www.dunsgathan.net/ and the old one should now be resolving into the new address. Not all changes are there, I finally decided that I had to get it up or I'd wait forever waiting for "perfection." And now I can't use working on it as an excuse to not get to other writing. Of course, Merlin needs a page. And I have plans for more stuff on the Gaelic Heathen section, but it won't ALL need to be uploaded again.

Lùnasdal/Là Fhéill Macha

On Thursday we celebrated our Là Fhéill Macha, which I noted is our own name for the holiday due to our own affiliations. As I said Lùnasdal is about horses and in keeping with this I started my day by cleaning all three of our resident horses, nice and shiny and properly pampered. Then Aaron and I both took the Minis for our "unrace" which was a nice walk along the road. We need to do this more often, they seemed to enjoy it. So did our goat Elína who followed right along, then ran ahead on the way back...I guess she won? I then put their new masks on them. Before I got out with a camera, of course, they got themselves and their masks coated with the first layer of dirt for the day.

Then I moved on to brush the dogs, while Aaron made shortbread and prepared the roast, because they join us in ritual and had to look good too. Then the two of us, sans dogs (because the Greyhounds would find it too prickly and the farm dogs would find the pricklies fun to gather in their newly clean fur), headed up to pick blackberries, along with a few blue berries in my favorite patch right near our ritual site. There is a huge abundance of berries there, we'll probably go back as most weren't ripe (yet we got a lot) and there are enough I don't think we have to feel we'll totally deprive the bear.

This all meant we needed to clean ourselves up a bit and then load up for the ritual. Our ritual site is between 1/8 and 1/4 mile up the road, where we thought at one time we might build just below it, in what was a field and is becoming rather overgrown, and has an ancient (well, for the US, apple orchard). We may turn part of that old field back into pasture for the horses when we can afford the labor, but the hill the ritual site is on, will just be kept trimmed up in the actual ritual site. It's nearly the highest point, the highest point being absolutely too close to neighbors (this is a bit too).

As we were packing, we saw this grounded baby Robin sitting next to a rock we were going to add to the fire pit. We left baby bird and rock alone. I think this is the same one I saw a few days before, so s/he's doing well avoiding our dogs. I hope it continues until flying is possible.

The fire went well, which I take as a good ritual sign. We made our offerings. I took some extra time to talk with an old acquaintance who I recently learned has passed; which despite our short association and that the relationship never went where I, and I think at one point he, had once hoped, has overwhelmed me with grief. I think there will be more doing that from now through Samhuinn, but I am doing slightly better right now. Or the business of the the ritual and the tiredness of the post-ritual is making me think so.

I love having the dogs at ritual, and these four are so good. Òrlaith and Cù lied in the shade with Aaron or myself, Gleann and Sachairi roamed the area, staying close. Gleann is an old hand, Sach just goes with the flow...the Greys are, of course, on leash. The all enjoy the "blessing" part when we share a bit of food.

When we returned to the house we gave the horses, goat and chickens some berries. Oddly, it was the goat who seemed to decline. This is the goat who will likely soon devour all the Belladonna plants (with no ill effects, other than maybe being a bit stoned). I do hope to have the larger horses up in that pasture next year, so they'll be near for the ritual. But we'll see if it's pasture again yet. But maybe by this holiday we can ride them up for a bit of time up there.

This is a sad time of year, many are noting it. It's been very sad for me this year, as I mentioned, and perhaps also a bit more so as last year was so spectacular and I was able to ride out what is probably the saddest time on our trip to ComicCon. It's been a hard year in various ways, looking to see what the next season turns.

Wintery picspam, mostly dogs

After my last rather dismal post and the fact that I don't have a happy "we have chicks" post to make as we failed to hatch any from our lost rooster's last hen (but we do have one of his daughters so...) I figured I'd do some picture spamming of pups from this winter. After all, I don't really have any springtime ones to post at the moment.

So...there you have two black sheep dogs, Gleann and Sachairi waiting to come in.

Òrlaith, the golden princess, and Cù Mór tend to not spend so much time outdoors in the winter. Òrlaith's jacket is not for warmth, though, but to help with anxiety, although she's still about to burrow under the cushions here. She's been spending a lot more time out from under the couch cushions lately, so the jacket seems to be helping.

Sachairi likes to keep a watch over things.

Gleann covered in snow.


Sach guarding the boots so no one leaves without him.

Sachairi, who only joined the pack last November, has been well accepted by all, even getting an occassional snuggle from Òrlaith.

But Cù apparently is searching for friends on the web.

The dogs aren't the only ones who want in the house, however. It's hard to see, but there are wo Mini horses and two goats in this photo.

Hopefully more springlike content to come!

Living with the Nature Spirits

This one is known as the Chthulu Spawn. S/he eats the mice which we also live with, which would otherwise be overrunning the house. Mice which will not, simply not go near a trap, live or kill. But CS gets them.

Yes, it might be a bit disconcerting to have a wild animal living inside the house, but then again the mice are wild animals too. And cause a lot more issue with contaminating our living space. This critter, a Short-tailed or Least Weasel, aka a Stoat, currently in Ermine guise, stays in the walls or under the sink where s/he can pose for the camera. Also s/he or another is busy catching mice outside, as well. So far *knockwood* they've left the chickens alone and as long as they do they are welcome here. We have an agreement. And there are plenty of mice, which are more of a size for the taking. To get a chicken the weasel must get it while it sleeps, the hope that the others do not wake and stomp her/him to death while s/he eats what s/he can.

And they can kill chickens. In fact, I remember being told as a child by some of the "old timers" that weasels were "vampires" for they only drained the blood of chickens, didn't eat the flesh. Um, you know, even as a kid I realized that something this size wasn't going to be able to cart off a chicken 20 times bigger than it was. The best one can do is drag it a ways from the others, in hopes the others don't wake up and stomp her/him to death, eat what s/he can and then hope to come back for more. But, alas, the farmer has removed the "vampirized" chicken and a new one must be killed.

But mice are easier, they can carry off mice. And the mice are plentiful. So are voles, chipmunks and squirrels.

Should Chthulu Spawn dare enter the actual house, however, there are dogs. Four of them now, btw, as we've adopted another Border Collie/Aussie mix, named Sachairi, to help Gleann out and to balance things out with our Greyhounds, Òrlaith and Cù Mór. All three would be lethal to the little spawn of the netherworld.

However, they do not concern themselves with mice or voles, except for Sachairi, who only seems interested in them when they are outside minding their own business. And he prefers watching the squirrels. Outside, minding their own business. The Chthulu Spawn takes care of them in the walls where they cause trouble for us.

All in all, we are cozied down for the winter. New wood furnace, everyone winterized more or less (the goats did take out part of a plastic window, however, you know, where in the goat pic spam post you see Elína standing in it in warmer times. They apparently are displeased with having their favorite entrance/exit taken from them, although we've had some nights where they should be appreciating it. And we have plenty of meat in our freezer, with some smoked good still to come.